Hi guys. I haven't really been around much... and I am sorry. tbh though I doubt many people have noticed I'm gone xD

At any rate, we moved. I'm kinda surprised we actually sold the house and left so fast but we did. I was forced to leave everything behind I cherished... my friends, my animals... my boyfriend. I never thought I'd miss the damn place, but I really, really, do. I have no friends here really, and I feel like there's just a gigantic void in my life.

So, why I am even down here then, you ask? Well, I really had no choice. I worked at Blockbuster barely making above minimum wage. I wouldn't have been able to support myself, even if I moved out with my boyfriend and we pooped our money together. I am kind of mad at my mom for this... but can I really blame her? She moved because she finally met a guy I think she can be really happy with. Of course, she did this nearly 10 years ago when she met my former stepdad, so who really knows? Right now I'm living with them and I'm just... reminded of the loss of my own companion every day. They call each other gross pet names, cuddle, kiss and just.. UGH. When I was around my mom with Mike we'd refrain from being cuddly and gross like that.

I'm going to school, taking one class right now... and I've also got a job at a barn in Waverly, feeding the horses and cleaning stalls, etc. We couldn't bring Donnie with us due to expenses (it took us about 5k to move the shit we only absolutely needed!) and his age. I just didn't want to stress him out. I'm taking lessons though, at the abrn I work at, which is totally awesome. Whenever I'm there I feel whole, complete... or at least, as complete as I can be without actually having my other half here. When I leave it's like life comes crashing down again and I just want to cry all the time.

I try to keep busy... but it's hard when you have ZIP for friends. I'm shy and it's hard to make friends. School and lessons are fine and dandy but I just... want my old friends back.

Hell, I want my old life back, as boring and mundane as it was. I want my boyfriend.. my horse.. my best friend.. my old house.

I blame my mom, but I don't, at the same time if that makes sense. Anyway, I just had to vent. I'm just not really feeling up to life anymore without my boyfriend or my friends.